Fake baby is not a good description for lifelike dolls

by Debra C. Jadick
(Webb City, MO, USA)

Personally, I feel that the term fake baby is completely wrong for this art form. I don't really like the term Reborn Baby either. I feel that they should be called what they are "Lifelike Dolls" Will the name ever change? I highly doubt it.

Unfortunately, the media is based on sensationalism. They will focus on a very very small group of women who actually feel as if these dolls are real. They do not want to hear from the majority of people who actually collect these dolls for the simple pleasure of collecting them. That is boring in their eyes. However, a tragic story will draw the masses.

The term Fake Baby is not going to go anywhere either. To be honest when selling my dolls on eBay I have to admit that I have also used the term. My thinking is if you can't beat them join them. The reality is the general population knows the term "Fake Baby" when they google or browse the internet they are going to use this term. It is counter productive to my business if I do not use the term also. This being said. Once I have a customer I do not use the term at all.

As for who collect Reborn Babies. My experience has been that they are simply collectors.

I also have the pleasure of working with Grieving families. I create Memorial Babies. My experience with these families are heartbreaking yet inspiring at the same time. These families are not trying to replace the child that they have lost. They are not having a doll made so that they can elude themselves of the terrible tragedy that they have been through. They are having a doll made in honor of the child that they have lost. They are not collectors. They usually purchase just one baby. What does it do for them? In some ways it brings them comfort. If their baby died suddenly they may have not been able to tell their child everything that they wanted to say. They may have never held their child or been able to dress their child. All of the things that Parents are supposed to be able to do with their child was stolen from them when their child died. These dolls allow them to complete some of the steps of being a parent. In the end. The doll never makes up for their loss however, it may help them in their grieving.

I just did a Memorial baby for a wonderful family. The entire family was involved in the process (Mother, Father and two sisters. One sister was a toddler when her sister died and the other was not born yet) The Mother told me that the reason she decided to have a Memorial baby done of her child was this. Her husband has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness. In passing her husband said that he will get to hold their daughter in Heaven first. The Mother wanted to bring a likeness of her daughter home before her husband died. Something that both she and her husband could hold together. Her daughters wanted the same. They wanted the illusion of a complete family before they faced another tragedy. Is this wrong? In my mind it is not wrong. If my work can bring this family some measure of peace even for a brief second then of course I have to do it. I hold this entire family close to my heart. I get updates on the husband and the girls by Mom all of the time. They are truly an inspiration.

Even with this family though they never called the doll a Fake Baby. She was either called a Memorial baby or she was called by her chosen name.

The term fake makes it seem like what we are doing is not real. Our art touches more people than we realize. It is very real. It can move women and men to tears or bring a smile to their face. Our babies can calm an agitated patient or help them to remember a simpler time in their lives. Our babies can bring back memories of their own children when they were just born and all of the wonderful emotions that went with having a new baby in the home. There is nothing fake about it. Our babies are real... they may not breathe, cry, or eat but they hold an emotional capability that is all of their own.

While walking in our local Wal-Mart with my husband and one of my Reborn Babies an elderly woman in the electric wheelchair asked to see the baby. She did not know that the baby was a doll. I gently placed her in her arms and explained to her that she was a lifelike doll. This woman gently rocked the baby and quietly cried. My husband and I both had tears in our eyes.

I thought perhaps I had offended her because she was crying. She gently grasped my hand and said "Thank You" for a brief moment I got to remember. That is real there is nothing fake about that.

Debra C. Jadick

Lasting Memories Reborn Nursery